The time that we kill keeps us alive.

Well, well, well. You're likely to judge me for this, but it's my personal beliefs and I'm not going to force anything onto you or judge you. But I don't care.

I found God. No, I'm not kidding. I found Jesus. Here's my story.

Eight months ago, I lost all faith in God. Everything. I became an atheist. For a while there, I was almost depressed. Just the thought of nothing being there. What made it worse was that I knew people who were probably going to die soon. The evidence that stated God wasn't there was just overwhelming. I felt like crying for hours. Not really out of guilt, as much as sadness. It got better after a few months, but there was still an emptiness in my heart. I learned to ignore it. I found a group of people who had the same beliefs. They helped me feel better about myself.

However, over the past weekend, something changed.

On the second day of our youth group beach retreat, we had a devotion about whether we were living life with a "plastic Jesus" or a "real Jesus." That really hit home. A plastic Jesus meant that you just said you were a Christian. You didn't really believe in Jesus. You just faked it, went to church, and did all of those other "Christian things." Well, you know, probably about five people knew I was an atheist. I guess where it officially happened was during the morning devotion on the last day. First of all, we bought a kite from Walmart for a dollar. Somehow, we had gotten it all the way up in the sky. Way above the hotel building. We had to go inside for the morning devotion. So we tied it to a fence post. More than an hour later, we looked out a window, and it was still up there. Now, I'm not saying I suddenly believed in God because of the kite. It's actually quite hard to change my beliefs. It was simply amazing, though. During the devotion, all of the lights were turned off, the curtains closed, and candles lit up the room. Music played in the background. That's when it happened. Something changed in my heart. Something. I'm not even sure how to describe it. Sure, I might sound crazy. But I know it was God. God was there. It might be something you have to experience to understand. That inner emptiness was gone. I cried.

Rumors Of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated by Rise Against

So please don't ask me how
I ended up at my wits end and breaking down.
Pages torn from books we never read,
Cause we're plugged into this grid.
Don't pull this plug right now,
Or then we'd really have to live.

When I die, will they remember not
What I did, but what i haven't done?
It's not the end, that I fear with each breathe
It's life that scares me to death...

When we built these dreams on sand,
How they all slipped through our hands.
And this might be our only chance.
Let's take this one day at a time,
I'll hold your hand if you hold mine.
The time that we kill keeps us alive.

Your words won't save me now.
I'm at the edge feeling the sweat drip from my brow.
Get a grip on yourself is what they say,
Every hour every day.
Hands over my ears,
I've been screaming all these years

When I die, will they remember not
What I did, but what i haven't done?
It's not the end, that I fear with each breathe
It's life that scares me to death...

When we built these dreams on sand,
How they all slipped through our hands.
And this might be our only chance.
Let's take this one day at a time,
I'll hold your hand if you hold mine.
The time that we kill keeps us alive.


We came in search of answers
We left empty handed again.
Shots fired from the sky
Are now returning.
Where [in America] will you hide?
From the laughter in the closet, some alive
But the door hinges are squeaking
Letting in thin shards of light.
And now our hands extending outward,
Quiet comfort they invite,
And do we dare take what they offer?
Do we step into the light?

When I die, will they remember not
What I did, but what i haven't done?
It's not the end, that I fear with each breathe
It's life that scares me to death...

When we built these dreams on sand,
How they all slipped through our hands.
And this might be our only chance.
Let's take this one day at a time,
I'll hold your hand if you hold mine.
The time that we kill keeps us alive.

When we built these dreams on sand,
How they all slipped through our hands.
And this might be our only chance.
Let's take this one day at a time,
I'll hold your hand if you hold mine.
The time that we kill keeps us alive.

[By the way - some of my friends and I have decided that we will now say something relative to America instead of cussing. You should too. :)]